Is it just me, or is it sometimes difficult to really hear what others are saying?A critique partner might say, "I like your beginning, but this scene isn't believable."
We hear, "Your writing stinks. I had to hold my nose while reading your manuscript."
Another reader might say, "Your characters are likable, but I think you need to flesh them out a little more."
We hear, "You are SO not a writer. A real writer would have nailed the characters in draft one."
A writer friend might say, "Good luck with your revisions."
We hear, "Yeah, good luck with that pile of scrap paper."
When our writer friends sandwich the good comments around the not-so-good, it's easy to focus only on the parts that don't work. It would help if we also remember to appreciate what we did right.
No manuscript is perfect on the first draft, but I have to believe that most are loaded with nuggets of good stuff. We just have to sort it all out.
How about you? Do you tend to focus on the negative comments instead of the positive?
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Absolutely, that's human nature. I had to stop with the critiques for one reason. They hindered my momentum. The constructive ones are great and needed, but those aren't the ones we remember, are they? Most, and I mean, most of them make you doubt yourself. I had to abandon my first novel because on the sixth year when I hadn't finished it, I realized I had succumbed to the critiques in such a way, it wasn't even the novel I had planned anymore. That may be a flaw in me, but I realized I take things to heart too much. So I gave them up. As a writer, we create our own doubts in our own minds without help.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your writing.
I try to enjoy the positive while correcting the ms based on the negative. It's not easy to hear that your story needs work, even if you know it needs work. But each revision makes your ms more publishable and that's the end goal.
ReplyDeleteI'm totally with you on this post, Julie. Everything you said is exactly what happens to me. Somebody can say, "I like your MC but I don't understand a certain aspect of her." And instead I hear, "Your story is a piece of crap and I don't know why you keep writing. Your main character sucks and no one will read this. Ever." It's pure torture.
ReplyDeleteOr like when I hear back from an agent or publisher and they just say, "Your manuscript does not fit our company, but we wish you the best of luck elsewhere." I instead usually just take it as, "Your story was so terrible we only read half of it. You're going to need a lot of luck to ever get this garbage published. Thank God we don't have to deal with you anymore."
However, Julie, as Elizabeth said none of us perfect. We make mistakes, and the sooner we accept that the sooner we can return to our writing. Despite the negative comments, we have to look at the positive ones and keep on writing.
Happy writing.
--Lindsey
I do try to soak in the positive comments, but like you, I tend to dwell much too long on the negative ones, to the point where even praises become criticisms. It usually helps when I set them aside for a few days and let the comments percolate. :)
ReplyDelete—Emy
I hear you. When I get a critique back and read the comments I have this roller coaster in my stomach. She like that! She doesn't like that? Hmmm. I usually read through the whole sub, and then let it percolate for a while before I decide how to tackle the rewrite. I'm so lucky to have a fantastic group of writers with me on this journey. I trust them to nudge me in the right direction, and, even when I don't accept some of their suggestions, they often open up the write me to new ways of expressing something that make the ms. better.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your post, Julie.
Yep, I do. Even if I imagine them or think they're implied. With people I trust, though, I will just come out and ask-I'm that comfortable with criticism (real or imagined) from them. I'm lucky there....
ReplyDeleteI think we all do it. But I tell you what, I also cling to those positive bits. They give me the encouragement to keep going.
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteJust weigh the negatives against the positives and if the latter drops like a stone you got it right! ;)
best
F
It is easy to focus on the negative; I think people hear what they want to hear.
ReplyDeleteOh, yes. I focus on the negative. And we do hear things based on what we expect. And if you expect something negative, even positive can sound bad.
ReplyDeleteI'm bad for that because I'm pretty hard on my writing when I'm at the revising stage... until a friend (and CP) recently wrote at the beginning of her critique of one of my chapters, "This is so NOT crap! Did you read that? There's stuff to make better but this. Is. NOT. Crap."
ReplyDeleteShe made me laugh so hard I got through the 'stuff to fix' without beating myself up once. And, yeah, I know I've a gem in her! :)
Used to react badly to criticism all the time, Julie, but old age solved all the problems. :0)
ReplyDeleteYup, I do. So I make sure when I take notes to take notes on the "bad" and the "good." That way, I can go back to read my notes and remember that there were some good things said! Then I remind myself that the "bad" comments aren't really "bad"-- in fact, they're the most important to helping my work get better!
ReplyDeleteIt takes me days to even read serious, detailed feedback properly. First I skim, noticing only the suggestions for change. Then I store it away to read when I'm feeling stronger. Usually when I go back and read the advice properly, days or weeks later, I'm surprised that it actually contains positives too that I don't remember from the first read.
ReplyDeleteI used to be like that. Not so much anymore. I think once you feel more confident about your writing, it is easier to discern what is truth, and what is subjective opinion.
ReplyDeleteYou'll grow into negative criticism. It just takes some time.
this sounds too familiar. I'm guilty!!! :( And yet I want people to tell me the truth so I can always improve...
ReplyDeleteI find that since writers tend to be pretty constructive in their criticism, I don't take their critiques that badly. BUT, one negative word from an editor or agent is enough to throw me straight into self-doubt and defensiveness. I'm working on it though!
ReplyDeleteI'm terrible at this. I only hear the negative most of the time. I really need to work at it!
ReplyDeleteUmm, what's a positive comment?
ReplyDeleteI always hear the negative. I have to re-read everything that was said at least 10 times before I can glean the nuggets of niceness out of it.
ReplyDeleteYes I always used to pick up on the negative, but have taught myself to see the positives, which prevents me feeling utterly devastated. The blogging experience and support have also helped. :O)
ReplyDeleteI appreciate everyone's comments. It's nice to know we each experience the same thing, and that we're not completely crazy!
ReplyDeleteI definitely do focus on the negative comments but I come back to the good ones when I'm feeling really discouraged so they both mean a lot to me! Both help in their own ways. I'm a strong believer in constructive criticism though, rather than just bluntness.
ReplyDeleteah some of these lines in your post made me laugh, Juls :))
ReplyDeleteOff course, everyone should take positive comments as a boost for self esteem and negative ones as an inspiration for improvement.The most important thing is who is the one giving the positive or negative comments.
That third one is funny!
ReplyDeleteIt was tough at first, but I quickly got over myself and listened to my test readers' suggestions.
Hi Julie,
ReplyDeleteI just want to thank you for visting my blog and your gracious comment. Have a blessed week.
I don't focus on them too much. If it requires a major rewrite I might get discouraged for about a day but then realize they're right!
ReplyDeleteI think it's human nature to focus on the bad. For me personally - and it took a long time to get to this point - I take the negatives as a challenge. "oh yeah, you think this sucks? Well I'm gonna make it so awesome, you will be speechless" sort of challenge. In most cases, people aren't telling you these things to be hurtful, or to spite you, but to help you be a better you. It's hard to remember that last part when all you see is "this doesn't work" but it's worth the effort to try!
ReplyDeleteI think I do a pretty good job of balancing the positive and the negative unless the critique is really harsh. I'm really looking for ways to improve the manuscript and I'm hoping my readers will give me some things to think about.
ReplyDeleteYep I quite agree. I am another guilty one here. Thanks for such an interesting and thought provoking post Julie. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteHola, viajando en este hermoso mundo de Blogs del cual pertenezco llegue a tu lindo blog... que esta lleno de hermosas letras con mucho sentir que llenan la vista y tocan los sentimientos y alimenta el alma... muy lindo tu blog...
ReplyDeletesaludos
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abrazos
te invito a visitar mi Blog y desde ya se siempre bienvenida... miles de gracias...
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Permiso para seguir tu Blog.
This is so true! It must be a writer thing. It's so hard not to focus on the negative...er..."constructive criticism". And it's so easy to interpret things the wrong way.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Julie. I have a hard time ever believing what I'm writing is good enough. It's much easier to believe it stinks. We need the critique to improve, but it can be a ball-and-chain, especially because writers probably tend to be more sensitive than the average person (after all, we're channelers of other people's emotions). But, it's one of those darned if you do, darned if you don't scenerios. We NEED critique, so we have to learn how to use it to our advantage.
ReplyDeleteAmy
Absolutely I tend to focus on the negative. But I really do appreciate the positive comments as well, they add just enough encouragement to keep me going. :)
ReplyDeleteI get excited when I get negative feedback, because that gives me something to improve on. Of course, I'm thrilled when it's all positive. =)
ReplyDeleteoh! yes yes yes, I do this. Esp. when my husband crits my stuff! LOL! :D But I do try to walk away, breathe and then go back and read what they're really saying.
ReplyDeleteAlways glad to know I'm not alone! Thanks, Julie! :o) <3
Hi Julie..hope your NaNo is going great. Depends on my mood, If I am in a bad mood I focus on the negative and If I am in a good mood, then its the positive comments.
ReplyDeleteGood post Julie. Honestly, I try very hard to focus on the positive and remember that I'd be much more annoyed if my beta testers told me my ms wasn't in need of anything! I do get down in the dumps, especially when my co-author and I think something is nearing completion and then someone tears it to shreds. Good luck and it's nice to know that we're all in the same boat on these things LOL!
ReplyDeleteGreat post, it is so easy to focus on the negative, I have to keep reminding myself that people see heaps of positives in my writing as well. I love it when my critique partners mention which parts they like/love though, it helps me keep the whole critique in balance in my own mind.
ReplyDeleteRach