I read Anne Lamott's awesome book, Bird by Bird, and was impressed by her wisdom. One of the subjects she wrote about was the expectations of publication, and the pitfalls. How one minute the published author is on top of the world, and the next minute that same author is back to feeling doubtful and insecure.
Anne Lamott wrote this:
"All that I know about the relationship between publication and mental health was summed up in one line of the movie Cool Runnings, which is about the first Jamaican bobsled team. The coach is a four-hundred-pound man who had won a gold in Olympic bobsledding twenty years before but has been a complete loser ever since. The men on his team are desperate to win an Olympic medal, just as half the people in my classes are desperate to get published. But the coach says, 'If you're not enough before the gold medal, you won't be enough with it.' You may want to tape this to the wall near your desk."
She goes on to say that "Being enough was going to have to be an inside job."
I love that. Too often we think this thing or that accomplishment will make us happy, or make us somebody. In my opinion, being published can't make us happy, or make us somebody--it can only add to who we already are.
I don't have experience with a published book, but I've experienced magazine publication. It was such a thrill, to be sure, but it wasn't a requirement for my happiness. I felt excited, validated, and ready to move on to the next thing.
Lamott tells the story of how she'd sought advice from her son's preschool teacher. She was lost and trying to find "some elusive sense of serenity." The young teacher told her, "The world can't give us peace. We can only find it in our hearts." She said, "I hate that." And he replied, "I know. But the good news is that by the same token, the world can't take it away."
Brilliant, right? If you haven't read Bird by Bird yet, I highly recommend it. This book is packed with wit, wisdom, sadness, and encouragement. We writers can be a hopeful, worried, confident, doubtful bunch, and it helps to know that we're not alone.
What are your thoughts on Lamott's words about publication? Did the light click on in your head and you thought YES! And if you're published, how did that milestone change your life?
I love what you said about that "it can only add to who we are" - SO TRUE!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I'm not the only writer who experiences these highs and lows.
I had a history article published. It didn't change my life but...it added to who I am. Great post.
Loree, it seems we all share these similar emotions. The ups and the downs. The confidence and the doubt. I've heard multi-published authors STILL experience this!
DeleteJulie,
ReplyDeleteThis is brilliant! Well, I learned that being published is just more hard work but the energies go in a different direction...to marketing and selling so to me it was a transfer of focus.
As far as- has it brought me happiness? I think the joy of writing and sharing my writing with others does bring me joy but I'm also aware enough that it can be fleeting and there is a time for everything...
great post Julie!
Tracy, that's an amazing perspective. Thanks for sharing!
DeleteI loved Bird By Bird...I agree, you shouldn't see getting published as some magic bullet to peace and happiness...if anything, it means more work and pressure.
ReplyDeleteThere are very few professional fiction writers who've achieved the level of success that provides security and peace of mind with whatever they try to write in the future. So, if you want to get published, that security in your writing needs to come from inside instead of outside.
So true, Jennifer, so true!
DeleteBrilliant. I think it's the same with happiness - it's something you choose, not something that happens to you. :)
ReplyDeleteJemi, you're right. Poor people can be happier than rich people, unpublished writers can be happier than published. It's all about attitude and perspective!
DeleteThe sooner we realize that the better! One day I'm up and then the next I'm down! I realize that's the life of an artist.
ReplyDeleteLaura, I totally understand! I go through those hills and valleys myself.
Deletenot published yet but looking forward to the day. I know it will be an accomplishment but I also know it won't change who I am. I am a writer now and I will be a writer after. I will, probably, be a little happier:)
ReplyDelete"I am a writer now and I will be a writer after." Love that!
DeleteThat's kind of brilliant. Ha, Jemi and I think alike! ;) But truly, it is. Success does not make us, WE make us.
ReplyDeleteSo true, Heather, so true!
DeleteI agree wholeheartedly, Julie. A writer, like all creative types, continually opens her heart - she is truly an open book! However, it can send us in a tail-spin in seconds flat. For me, it helps to have my identity based on other things, as well as writing. Family, friends, and faith are all that "truly" matter to me. Peace to you this holiday weekend!
ReplyDeleteVictoria, that's the way it is for me, too. Faith, family, friends. Everything else is icing on the cake.
DeleteI have recorded 5 albums of music and don't call myself a musician.
ReplyDeleteSo having written one book and I wouldn't call mysef a writer either. I am me and there is so much to me. The scariest thing I have ben called is a "Man of God" and that was more than once and in a church in front of an entire congregation! "Sinner" would be more like it. But to tie it all together, I am enough without anyone knowing who I am or what I do.
Beautifully said, Michael. Being called a "Man of God" is quite a compliment. I have a feeling you've made a huge impact on other people.
DeleteJulie, I have heard lots about this book. It sounds good. Though I am a published author, I don't think anything major has happened because of it. I still need to get my other books published.
ReplyDeleteRachna, that's so cool that you're multi-published, but you keep moving forward. Awesome!
DeleteBird by Bird was one of the best books I've ever read. I recommend it to everyone. It helped me revise String Bridge when I was feeling low about it and gave me a good kick up the backside :)
ReplyDeleteJessica, when I was feeling low about a writing a horrible first draft, it helped me to forge through it and write it anyway!
DeleteI loved her book. Was fortunate to hear her speak at a local forum a couple of years ago. She's a great speaker as well as a wonderful writer. She really nails the writerly condition, doesn't she?
ReplyDeleteOh, totally. That must have been so cool to hear her speak! Wow. She's just so "real," and I loved that.
Delete"being published can't make us happy, or make us somebody--it can only add to who we already are."
ReplyDeleteLOVE this post Julie. :)
I've also come to this conclusion and it's taken SO much stress off of me.
Thanks for sharing. I'm going to have to re-read this gem of a book.
You know what? It's relieved a lot of stress from me, too. Why worry about it if it takes joy from writing?
DeleteThis is great, Julie, and there's one thing I'd like to add. Accomplishments can give temporary happiness, but those accomplishments can fade so quickly. If we rely on being published (or whatever goal a person is trying to reach) for happiness, when the thrill subsides, we'll have to keep searching for that high again. Sure, we can write another book, but what if that one doesn't sell? What another one never sells? If the happiness and thrill doesn't come from the writing itself, we'd be chasing our tails forever. I personally, would consider publication the icing, but not the filling, satisfying cake.
ReplyDeleteExcellent point, Michele. If that's our only goal with writing, we're missing out on a lot of joy. Thanks!
DeleteWhat a coincidence! My kids JUST watched Cool Runnings yesterday! It's a wonderful movie, and I always tear up at the end. And Bird by Bird is an inspiration.
ReplyDeleteAdrienne, reading that quote made me want to watch that movie again. It's been too long!
DeleteI love Cool Runnings, first of all, and that line in particular. My first book is soon to be released and I'm thrilled, but since it hasn't actually come out yet, I guess I'll have to see if it changes my life or not. But I was born a writer, would be a writer whether I published anything or not. I just love stories.
ReplyDeleteAnd that part of you will never leave, no matter what! I'm so thrilled to witness your exciting publication adventure :)
DeleteNeat! I read BIRD BY BIRD a long time ago, but remember really liking it. It was definitely encouraging and inspiring. Ha, yes, the "validation" issue...we write (mostly) to be read, I think, so it's only natural we want to get published!
ReplyDeleteSo true, Carol. And it's nice to know when our words aren't terrible!
DeleteI think being published offers a great sense of accomplishment, but it's not the end of the road, just a stop along the way. Something must come next. So an individual cannot base their worth & happiness on having reached that goal, but only take heart that they reached another goal & they must then fibs a new one. I never expected to get published, but now that I will be, I need to move into the next project & I can't base my worth on how well that book does. I feel good about what I've done so far, but I've got miles & miles to go. So I feel her advice is right on the money.
ReplyDeleteNancy, I'm amazed at your writing journey! And your attitude is amazing. This book of yours is the first of many, I'm sure!
Delete'If you're not enough before the gold medal, you won't be enough with it.'...
ReplyDeleteFar too often we think "when I... Then I'll be happy, be somebody, life will be great..." But the essence of this is not allowing success to define you, but you define you. Success, whatever it is, is just added icing on the cake of life. It should already be delicious underneath. Those achievements along the way are the added decorations on the cake to make it just a little sweeter, and a little prettier. But the real treat is what is underneath.
A beautiful post. Thank you!
Thanks, Karlene. I once heard someone say, "If you can't find happiness where you are right now, you'll never find it." It might not always be true, but it's something to consider. Have a happy Easter!
DeleteI totally agree with Anne Lamont! If you're always looking for validation from "outside" yourself, it will never be "enough". Happiness comes from within ... the rest is just icing. ;-)
ReplyDeleteSo true, Elizabeth! Sometimes we must dig really deep to find it, but if we do find it, it's worth it. Thanks!
DeleteI LOVE that line!!
ReplyDeleteTraci, I loved it, too. The whole book is filled with goodies like that :)
DeleteI haven't read this book, but I've heard good things about it, and this post just makes me want to grab it.
ReplyDeleteSarah, I read a really important chapter before I wrote my most recent first draft. I was terrified. What if it was terrible? This book assured me: yes, it will be bad, but yes, you can fix it. It gave me the courage to write the bad first draft!
DeleteYou just convinced me to buy the book. Awesome post!
ReplyDeleteYou know, this is one writing book that I haven't read yet. I really should, because I know it's one of the most recommended books on the craft out there. LOL,adding it to my list. thanks for the kick in the pants. :)
ReplyDeleteHope you had a great Easter!
I really love this and that quote. I think we are all always looking for that thing to validate us. Whether it be getting an agent or a book deal or awesome reviews. But this is so right. You've got to be happy with what you're doing and how you're doing it FIRST. Everything else is just icing:)
ReplyDeleteI love BIRD BY BIRD and this piece of advice. I should give that book another read. :)
ReplyDeleteBird by Bird had a terrific voice. Sh#%y first drafts was my favorite chapter. I am all in on that piece of advice. Do it for the love, not the golden nugget.
ReplyDeleteGreat reminder. I'm content now and I'll be content after I'm published ... just busier, probably. :)
ReplyDeleteI have read Bird by Bird but I'm glad you shared this small excerpt because it is SO TRUE and something that I need to remind myself of often.
ReplyDeleteBanned complain !! Complaining only causes life and mind become more severe. Enjoy the rhythm of the problems faced. No matter ga life, not a problem not learn, so enjoy it :)
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