The Law of Happiness--A Book Review

Instead of my normal "writing lessons learned" post, today I'll share a book with you that teaches life lessons. It's called The Law of Happiness by Dr. Henry Cloud.

I've been reading a lot of nonfiction lately, and this book fascinated me. Why? It's a book where the Bible and science collide. I'm not a scientific person--I'd say I'm more spiritual--but that doesn't mean I don't have questions about how the two coexist.

What I loved most about this book was how it gave scientific proof for how the truths found in the Bible make people happy. It showed how if we followed the advice given in those ancient pages, we are following a path that's paved with happiness. Life will always have troubles, to be sure, but it's nice to know there's a proven guide for how to keep joy in our lives.

Without giving too much away, let me list three laws of happiness. And since this is a writing blog, I'll even point out how these laws apply to writers!

• Happy people are givers. It's true that giving brings much more joy than receiving. This truth applies when giving tithes at church, or giving clothes to the local homeless shelter. But it's also true when writers give their time to help other writers, or give a kind word to someone who's ready to give up. Giving doesn't have to be expensive. Encouragement is free.
• Happy people connect. It's great when we connect with others in the physical world, and also when we connect with each other virtually. If we're ever feeling alone out here in our little corner of the world, all we have to do is reach out to a fellow writer. They'll know exactly how we're feeling. When we're tempted to isolate ourselves, reaching out is a great way to add joy to our lives.
• Happy people don't compare themselves. This is a biggie for writers, yes? Sometimes it's difficult to not compare ourselves. But...you see that writer over there? The one with the accolades and the book deals and the mega sales? He's on his path and you're on yours. We were each given special gifts that make our stories and writing styles our own. My sentences and word choices will be different than yours. My publishing path will be like no other. Same with you. We each bring something unique to the literary world--let's not compare ourselves to others.

These three laws are just a sampling of the wonderful laws of happiness outlined in this book. I highly recommend it. Not only as a writer, but as a flawed person who's figuring out this thing called Life. The beauty of The Law of Happiness is that it's not all about religion. Sure, it's about laws written in the Bible, but it's also about how science backs up those same theories. If you're looking for a lamp to guide your path, this book is a great place to start.

If smiles were like star ratings, I'd give it five smiles :) :) :) :) :)

Have you read The Law of Happiness? Are you curious about how science and the Bible collide? Do you feel happiness when you give, connect with others, and toss aside comparisons? What else makes you happy?

Enjoy the "Now" of Your Writing Journey #IWSG

Welcome, insecure writers! Wanna join the group? Clicky here and sign up. And don't forget to tell yourself how smart you are for doing so :)

Are you insecure about where you are on your writing journey? I feel ya. But I'll share a little trick in just a minute.

My oldest son is finishing up his junior year in high school. He's been researching universities since 9th grade, and lately we've been going on campus visits. He's even looked ahead to internships and dream companies he'd like to work for or emulate. He's super excited about college, and he's kind of a motivated guy.

One night, while juggling all this research and current assignments, he said, "I think I'm looking too far into the future." I told him I thought it was fine to look far into the future, as long as he enjoys the "now." He still has summer, and his senior year--with Friday night football games, prom, and all the other fun times he'll have before graduation.

It reminded me how writers seem to look beyond the now and focus on the future. When I get an agent. When I sign that book deal. When I reach the bestseller list.

I'll let you in on a little secret that's helped me remain calm and content even though I'm a busy wife, mom, author, and publisher: I enjoy the now. Right now, where I'm at on my writing journey.

Yes, I've looked ahead to the agent, the book deal, and all the other milestones writers dream about. But I've also made it a habit to focus on the progress I've made, and all the joy I've felt with each accomplishment. Where I'm at right now is pretty darn good. But it was also good when I was first learning this writing thing...and it was good when I finished my first crappy novel...and it was good when I signed with my agent...and it was good when I indie published.

What's that quote? Life is what happens when we're busy making plans. 

What does my son's future hold? I have no idea. What does my own future hold? Also, no idea. But when life gets hectic, my solution is simple: take a deep breath, plan for the future, but enjoy the now.

That's my little secret! Do you focus too much on the future? Or do you stop, look around, and enjoy the now? Any tips you can share?

My Five Happy Ways

Morgan Shamy, my agency sister and all around inspirational person, tagged me in her "My Five Happy Ways" post. I love this idea, so I decided to participate.

The rules?

Shout out to the person who tagged me
List my five happy ways
Tag five more

My shout out to Morgan...she always has a kind word to say, and looks at the bright side of things. Her blog posts inspire me. Morgan's perseverance and positive attitude will bring success, no doubt about it!

My Five Happy Ways:

(I'll copy Morgan and Mark Koopmans and point out that my spouse and family automatically trump everything)

1. Books and water--Sounds like a soggy mess, right? Sometimes. I love sitting on the beach, warm sand beneath me, water lapping at my toes, reading a book. Or I can be lakeside, reading my book, as the occasional ski boat passes by. Or I can be lounging by the pool or floating on a raft, reading a book. Either way, this is one of my favorite forms of relaxation.

2. Silver linings--Life is full of dramatic peaks and valleys. When we're in the valleys, it's sometimes tough to remember the peaks. But I'm a firm believer that there's always a silver lining. If we try hard enough, we can find something to be thankful for.

3. Social media--For me, social media is like school with a super long recess. So many opportunities to learn, while also having fun. In real life, when meeting new people, I'm not always the most outgoing person. It takes a while for someone to really get to know me. With social media, it gives me a little more confidence to be myself and not worry so much. I've met most of you this way, and I'm so thankful.

4. Sing along songs--If there was a camera in our car while my family's on the road, you'd crack up. We play our favorite songs and sing our hearts out. We even have little dance moves that we sometimes manage to do within the confines of a small car. My sons are master DJs, and take turns picking songs. We may not sound great, but boy, do we have fun.

5. Birthdays--Ever since I was little, my family has made birthdays a special celebration. That carries on even today. I don't frown at the rising number each time I have a birthday. Instead, I'm thankful I was blessed with another year with the wonderful people around me. I seriously don't even care about receiving presents, because each birthday is a gift.

(Speaking of birthdays...a special shout out to my sister Joyce, who's celebrating her birthday today!)

Who will I tag? ALL of you! Why stop short at five? If you write a five happy ways post, I'd love to know about it so I can stop by and learn more about you.

Better yet, I'd love it if you listed YOUR five happy ways in the comments.

What made you happy today? Please share!

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Publication & "Being Enough"

I read Anne Lamott's awesome book, Bird by Bird, and was impressed by her wisdom. One of the subjects she wrote about was the expectations of publication, and the pitfalls. How one minute the published author is on top of the world, and the next minute that same author is back to feeling doubtful and insecure.

Anne Lamott wrote this:

"All that I know about the relationship between publication and mental health was summed up in one line of the movie Cool Runnings, which is about the first Jamaican bobsled team. The coach is a four-hundred-pound man who had won a gold in Olympic bobsledding twenty years before but has been a complete loser ever since. The men on his team are desperate to win an Olympic medal, just as half the people in my classes are desperate to get published. But the coach says, 'If you're not enough before the gold medal, you won't be enough with it.' You may want to tape this to the wall near your desk."

She goes on to say that "Being enough was going to have to be an inside job."

I love that. Too often we think this thing or that accomplishment will make us happy, or make us somebody. In my opinion, being published can't make us happy, or make us somebody--it can only add to who we already are.

I don't have experience with a published book, but I've experienced magazine publication. It was such a thrill, to be sure, but it wasn't a requirement for my happiness. I felt excited, validated, and ready to move on to the next thing.

Lamott tells the story of how she'd sought advice from her son's preschool teacher. She was lost and trying to find "some elusive sense of serenity." The young teacher told her, "The world can't give us peace. We can only find it in our hearts." She said, "I hate that." And he replied, "I know. But the good news is that by the same token, the world can't take it away."

Brilliant, right? If you haven't read Bird by Bird yet, I highly recommend it. This book is packed with wit, wisdom, sadness, and encouragement. We writers can be a hopeful, worried, confident, doubtful bunch, and it helps to know that we're not alone.

What are your thoughts on Lamott's words about publication? Did the light click on in your head and you thought YES! And if you're published, how did that milestone change your life?

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