Sometimes words aren't enough. Even for a writer.
My family spent the past weekend at a sports camp for burn survivors and their families. You see, my fifteen year old son is a burn survivor himself. Once you're treated at the Grossman Burn Center, you're a part of their family.
In the early days after my son's burn, I used to hide our invitation to burn camp. My reasons were entirely selfish. I didn't want to spend time with other burn survivors and their families--my son's physical wounds, and my mommy guilt wounds--were way too fresh.
Once my sons were older, I finally shared the invitation with them. Of course they were all over it, and now look forward to burn camp each year.
Funny thing is? I also look forward to it now. Spending time with other burn survivors and their families is the real joy of burn camp.
While at camp, I experienced such gratitude. I'm thankful for the other survivors and their families, who share the unique issues that burn survivors go through. I appreciate that kids and adults alike can walk around with their scars fully exposed, and know that they'll be accepted. I appreciate the open mic sessions after meals, where folks stand up and share how they were burned, and how burn camp has helped them heal.
During the weekend, I often thought about how I could write what camp meant to me, and what the fellowship with other families meant to our family. But the harder I tried to put it into words, the more frustrated I became. Because really, sometimes words aren't enough.
Instead, I set aside my writer brain and simply basked in the emotional journey of burn camp. I stopped trying to find the right words to express what it meant to me, and simply soaked it all in--the healing, the safety, the scars that no one paid attention to.
Here's what I'm learning: sometimes it's therapeutic to write about whatever junk we're going through. I even wrote a post about Writing Through Painful Memories. But sometimes it's ok to just revel in the moment and not be a writer.
What say you, writer friends? Do you ever have moments you've tried to put into words and can't? Do you ever set the writer brain aside and just live in the moment? What moments had such an impact on you? Please share!
I have something going on right now...which led me to say this morning, "I just don't have it in me to write." This piece has incredible timing for me, and now I'm just going to put the writing aside for a bit, and be in the moment. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteLiza, I hope the quiet time from writing is just what you need. Sometimes even taking a break inspires us to write more. But if we're not feeling it, I think it's ok to just set the laptop aside and just live.
DeleteI didn't know your son was a burn survivor. That's wonderful there is a camp for the families. I think the really deep emotions are the ones we find most difficult to put into words.
ReplyDeleteAlex, yes, my son is a burn survivor. A tough time to go through, but he was young and barely remembers it. Thankfully the silver lining is burn camp and getting to know the other survivors.
DeleteThere is nothing like connecting with people who personally relate with something you've gone through. It's inspiring and fulfilling - even if we don't think we deserve it. You are a champion, Julie. I'm sure your son's burn incident and everything afterward was difficult to go through. I applaud your courage to share this and to face those inner fears.
ReplyDeleteSheri, thanks so much for your inspiring words. I'm learning the hard way that sometimes we grow the most through difficult times.
DeleteBurn camp. Go figger. Therapy comes in many flavors. For me...a chocolate binge is the norm. Then I go write stuff.
ReplyDeleteR. Mac, chocolate binge is basically the cure for most of what ails us, yes?
DeleteIt is good to just live sometimes. It's true with the mad dash to take pictures of important events too. Sometimes we miss the event by focusing on recording it. That's great your son is going to burn camp. Getting support from others who went through a similar experience can be a really helpful way in accepting challenges like this.
ReplyDeleteNatalie, it's funny you mention photos. It's so true. Last night I was watching my other son perform on stage, and at first my instinct was to take photos or film the whole thing. I did a little of that, but I also just set the device down and just enjoyed the show.
DeleteI think I would've been hesitant at first too. It's difficult to be around burn victims (or victims of anything really) when you're still dealing with it. I'm glad that you and family enjoy it now. Sometime it's nice to be around people who understand.
ReplyDeleteChrys, it's so true. And one of the leaders mentioned the reality that next year at burn camp there will be new survivors. It's up to us to help them move forward.
DeleteI have had moments like that and like you, I've tried to write about it. But the words aren't enough to express the emotions filling my heart. It sounds like a terrific event.
ReplyDeleteSusan, isn't it weird how sometimes other writers can capture exactly what we feel, but we're in the middle of it, it's tough to put into words. Perhaps time and reflection makes it easier to write about?
DeleteI've never heard of burn camps, but they sound like supportive, interesting environments; it sounds like a good place for burn survivors and their families to get together and relate to each other.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard for me to live in the moment, especially because I'm usually stressing about the future or the past.
Stress sure is a big monster, isn't it? It's tough to focus on the moment when something else is weighing heavily on us.
DeleteI've never heard of such a camp, but how awesome that they exist! And yes, I've never thought about it before, but it makes sense that sometimes even though we're writers, we just have to bask and experience, even though our first impulse is to put everything into words. ;o)
ReplyDeleteCarol, I'd never heard of burn camp either, but now I see such value in it. There was a couple there whose child had cerebral palsy, and they wished there was such a camp for that.
DeleteI recently shelved a novel I'd been working on because the memories that surfaced were too painful. Sometimes we're just not ready to write about something but when it's time the words will come. The way you wrote this post proves it. Lovely post, Julie.
ReplyDeleteKaren, when another writer captures exactly what I'm feeling, or what I've felt, I assume they've gone through the same thing. There are certain emotions that are likely captured by someone else who's walked the same path we have. I have a feeling you'll come back to that novel at some point...in God's timing, yes?
DeleteI find I tend to veer off of heightened emotions. Even though I need to write about them to set them in perspective, to sort of work my way through. I've had two deaths in my family in the past year and there's another threat at the moment. I've decided to work through some of these in a wip series. I think they will be a blessing to me and I hope others.
ReplyDeleteTraci, wow, I'm so glad you're able to deal with all that trauma via the written word. And I have no doubt that your words will definitely help someone else. That's awesome.
Delete