When Words Aren't Enough

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Sometimes words aren't enough. Even for a writer.

My family spent the past weekend at a sports camp for burn survivors and their families. You see, my fifteen year old son is a burn survivor himself. Once you're treated at the Grossman Burn Center, you're a part of their family.

In the early days after my son's burn, I used to hide our invitation to burn camp. My reasons were entirely selfish. I didn't want to spend time with other burn survivors and their families--my son's physical wounds, and my mommy guilt wounds--were way too fresh.

Once my sons were older, I finally shared the invitation with them. Of course they were all over it, and now look forward to burn camp each year.

Funny thing is? I also look forward to it now. Spending time with other burn survivors and their families is the real joy of burn camp.

While at camp, I experienced such gratitude. I'm thankful for the other survivors and their families, who share the unique issues that burn survivors go through. I appreciate that kids and adults alike can walk around with their scars fully exposed, and know that they'll be accepted. I appreciate the open mic sessions after meals, where folks stand up and share how they were burned, and how burn camp has helped them heal.

During the weekend, I often thought about how I could write what camp meant to me, and what the fellowship with other families meant to our family. But the harder I tried to put it into words, the more frustrated I became. Because really, sometimes words aren't enough.

Instead, I set aside my writer brain and simply basked in the emotional journey of burn camp. I stopped trying to find the right words to express what it meant to me, and simply soaked it all in--the healing, the safety, the scars that no one paid attention to.

Here's what I'm learning: sometimes it's therapeutic to write about whatever junk we're going through. I even wrote a post about Writing Through Painful Memories. But sometimes it's ok to just revel in the moment and not be a writer.

What say you, writer friends? Do you ever have moments you've tried to put into words and can't? Do you ever set the writer brain aside and just live in the moment? What moments had such an impact on you? Please share!

Book Release Day! Buy a book, help a great cause

Friends, it's book release day! I humbly offer my YA novel, The Boy Who Loved Fire. Yes, I'm excited. Yes, I'm nervous as heck. But most of all, I'm proud. I truly hope readers will love Manny's story.

This isn't an ordinary release day. All proceeds from today's sales will be donated to the Grossman Burn Center via Firefighters Quest for Burn Survivors. The burn center holds a special place in my heart, because they took excellent care of our son when he had third degree burns. Abigail, the love interest in The Boy Who Loved Fire, is also a burn victim. I drew on our personal experience when writing her character.

I sincerely hope you enjoy the book. If you buy a copy, I'd love it if you sent me a photo of you holding the book. I'd proudly post the photos here, on Pinterest, and on my author Facebook page. Please send your photos to julie at juliemusil dot com.

Here's the short description and buy links. Thanks so much for your support!

Manny, a modern teen Scrooge, faces three ghosts as he outruns arson charges, falls for his fire victim, and battles for redemption.

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

Apple

Kobo

Smashwords

Print

All of tomorrow's proceeds will be donated to Carousel Ranch, where they provide equestrian therapy for disabled kids. Check in again tomorrow, when I'll share details of why I chose this amazing charity for day two.

thank you*thank  you* thank you* thank you

If you've released a book, how did you handle release day? Were you nervous? Excited? Scared as heck? Any advice you can give a newbie?

Writing About Painful Memories

When my son was three years old, he burned his foot on the motor of our ATV. Specialty doctors treated the 3rd degree burn with a painful skin graft, and the wound took several months to heal.

As parents, we wish we could absorb our child's pain and anguish. Each time I changed my son's bandages, I experienced shame and guilt. How could I have let my son wear sandals that day? What kind of parent was I? These are strong emotions, and I still struggle with them.

As writers, we have a unique outlet for painful memories. How do we channel that emotion? For me, it came out in story form. It wasn't intentional, it just happened. One of the characters in my story sustained severe burns in a California wild fire, and my main character was at fault.

I related to how my main character felt--horror, regret, shame. I related to how he wished he could go back in time and erase that event from their history. I related to his desire to make things better for the burn survivor. The fictional event was different from our real-life event, but the emotions were the same.

I'm not qualified to give advice on this subject, but I can offer my thoughts. When we write about a painful memory, here are things we can consider:

Pain Level--There's no denying that there are some memories too painful to write about.

Time--I wasn't ready to write about the event soon after it happened. I was too caught up in the current situation. I didn't even journalize it. With time, the emotions were less raw, but still strong. Time tempered the severity, but not the impact of the event itself. We can write about the subjects that trouble us, and hopefully this will aid in the healing process.

Healing--Has any healing taken place? If so, it seems to me that it's a good time to write about it. The writing will take us deeper into the pain, and then help bring us out. My hope is that my experience brought authenticity to the manuscript.

Let it Come--I didn't set out to write a burn story. My plan wasn't to dump all that baggage into a manuscript. It just happened naturally, and to me, it seems this is the best way. If we set out to write a fictional account of a painful event, maybe we don't have enough space or clarity to make it readable for others.

Hope--For me, the timing was right because my son's injury was healed and almost forgotten by him. By then we'd connected with other burn survivors from the Grossman Burn Center. We knew that life goes on after a severe burn, and that there are other families out there who help each other. This gave me perspective.

In his book, On Writing, Stephen King wrote this:


"You undoubtedly have your own thoughts, interests, and concerns, and they have arisen, as mine have, from your experiences and adventures as a human being...You should use them in your work."


The scar on my son's foot is light and barely visible. Same with the scar on this mother's heart. But it is there. Writing about a painful experience, even in a blog post such as this, is one way to turn a negative into a positive.

Have you ever written about a painful experience? Was it in fiction, nonfiction, or in a journal? Did it help you sort it all out? What else should we consider when doing this? I'd love to hear your thoughts.


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