Criticism = Free Coaching

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criticize |ˈkritəˌsīz| verb [ with obj. ] 1 indicate the faults of (someone or something) in a disapproving way2 form and express a sophisticated judgment of (a literary or artistic work)

I was listening to a podcast by Joyce Meyer about criticism. Not literary criticism, but other criticisms we may receive in daily life.

Criticism is tough to take, especially if it isn't given nicely. But Joyce Meyer made a great point: criticism, if given in good faith and with kindness, is like free coaching.

That really resonated with me.

I thought of it this way: when my kids do something wrong and I gently correct them (not criticize them negatively), I'm coaching them on how to be decent human beings. Just like my mom used to coach my siblings and me on how to watch our language and do the right thing.

As writers, we're subject to literary criticism all the time. First with our early readers, then with agents and editors, and finally with readers.

Here are my thoughts on how literary criticism can be effective as free coaching:

• Is the review/critique given with good intentions? Is the criticism just mean? Is there any meat behind it, or is it just harsh words slung out there to demoralize? If criticism is given with the intention to help the writer, it can be received as free coaching.
• Is the review/critique given with respect? Is the critic using respectful words? Tone?
• Does the critic understand the difficulty of having their work criticized? Writers know how difficult it is to have our work filleted and gutted by others. The writers who've criticized my work (at my request!) have all understood how it felt to have their work critiqued. Their ideas were given with respect.
• Can the critic offer a better way to approach the problem? One of my favorite things about having my work critiqued is the back and forth that takes place with my beta readers. One might highlight a section because it bothered her. She'll explain why it stood out to her, but she won't stop there. She'll offer ideas on how to fix the problem. How I handle it is up to me, but I truly appreciate the brainstorming.
• Is the writer coachable? If we feel as if we know it all, forget about it--we won't learn a thing. If we feel as if our writing is above criticism, forget about it--we'll struggle to grow. In real life, and in the writing life, it's important to remain coachable. There's always something new to learn.

Sometimes our greatest growth takes place when we offer ourselves up for criticism. For this "free coaching" to really be effective, it's important that we're open to alternative opinions and new ideas. And we must remember that it's our work being critiqued and reviewed, not us as writers. Those lines become blurry at times, yes?

How do you handle criticism, in daily life and in your writing life? Can you list any other ways that criticism can be viewed as free coaching? Any tips you can offer on how to remain coachable?

Lacking Confidence?

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I'm in the final stages of prepping my manuscript to be beta read by my trusted writing buddies. My friends know the basic premise of the story, because they've helped me with the query. But the actual manuscript has not been seen by anyone but me.

Guess what I'm lacking? Confidence.

You know that feeling, right? That feeling of fear just before you send that newborn story to have it critiqued. It's a scary step in the publishing process--but absolutely necessary.

*Deep breaths*

When I'm feeling insecure, I like to search for inspiration. Here are some share-worthy quotes about confidence:

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. --Eleanor Roosevelt

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not. --Attributed to Hanoch McCarty

We have to learn to be our own best friends, because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies. --Roderick Thorp, Rainbow Drive

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to. --W.C. Fields

Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are right. --Henry Ford

I quit being afraid when my first venture failed and the sky didn't fall down. --Allen H. Neuharth

If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint," then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced. --Vincent Van Gogh

Don't live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable. --Wendy Wasserstein

A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage. Every day sends to their graves obscure men whose timidity prevented them from making a first effort. --Sydney Smith

Friends, do you suffer from lack of confidence when someone else reads your work? Does fear prevent you from sending it out? Did these quotes give you the confidence to send it out anyway? Please share!

What We Can Learn From Beta Reads

Used with permission from Debbie Ridpath Ohi at Inkygirl.com

If you're lucky enough to have critique partners or beta readers, you know how priceless they are in our writing journeys. I've learned so many great lessons from the process, and I'd like to share a few here.

What I've learned from reading my partners' pages:

--They're extremely talented, and each time I read their work, I learn more about pacing, flow, language, and character. *waves to Lisa and Leslie*

--We all improve with each manuscript we write. The evidence is clear--the more we write, the better we become. The verdict? Keep writing!

--For me, it's easier to read a novel as a whole, instead of batches of 10-15 pages or so. I remain immersed in the story world, and feel I can offer better critiques.

--If I think it, I should say it. If I think a paragraph or word choice is brilliant, I need to let the writer know. If a section confused me, I need to say that, too. I used to remain quiet, afraid my thoughts would seem ridiculous, but now I know better. We are experienced readers, and if something jumps out at us, whether it's a compliment or a constructive comment, we need to let our partners know.

What I've learned from my partners' critiques:

--Again, they're brilliant. They catch the best stuff! Even if I've combed through the manuscript ten times, I still miss lots of things--big and small. Which brings me to my next point...

--My partners' time is valuable. I won't send them my work until I've read through it multiple times and addressed anything that caught my eye. Once I think the manuscript is clean but crappy, and I should delete the whole file, that's when I send it to my beta readers.

--Marinate on their comments. Once I receive my document back, I read through all the comments. But I don't start working right away. I gush my thanks to my partners, and then I think about their comments for several days. By the time I come back to it, the critique is much clearer and I'm ready to work out the kinks.

--Value every comment. If it caught my reader's eye, then something needs fixing. I address each point with care, and appreciate the thought that went into it.

--Can't think of an easy solution to a story problem? Don't rush it. I keep a list of points I haven't easily addressed. I'll stew over solutions for as long as it takes. No sense leaping into a solution that won't work well.

--Ask for help. I know that if I can't come up with a solution, my partners are willing and able to help me brainstorm. All I have to do is ask. And if their critiques include a possible solution to a story problem? I'm not too proud to use it!

Criticism is tough to take, and in most cases, tough to hand out--even if it's constructive. As a collective unit, we are all trying to improve, and beta reads help us do just that.

How does your critique group or beta read partnership work? If  you have helpful tips for the rest of us, please share in the comments.

Need a reading partner? Mention that in the comments, as well as what genre you write. Maybe some of you can pair up. Plus, I've heard of people meeting in the WriteOnCon and Query Tracker forums.