The Opposite of Envy

I was listening to a podcast interview with Dr. Henry Cloud, author of The Law of Happiness. I'm reading this book now. I'll report back later.

Anyway, in the interview Dr. Cloud spoke about how gratitude is the opposite of envy. Sounds weird, but I've never thought of it that way. But it makes sense. With envy, we're upset about what we don't have. With gratitude, we're thankful for what we do have.

A fun illustration of this is a tweet that was sent out by my son, who graduated from high school last night. He was bidding a fond farewell to his school. "No more FIFA tournaments, no more cafeteria food, no more expired ASB snacks, no more dirt-covered trailers. I'm going to miss everything."

You see, his high school is a small cluster of trailers surrounded by dirt countryside. A new high school is under construction, but that didn't matter to my son. In a quote he gave at a scholarship luncheon, "The guts are good, even if it isn't pretty on the outside." He isn't envious of kids who go to fancy schools. He excelled and had a blast in dusty trailers, knowing he was blessed with education and a small town atmosphere. In my opinion, that's a heart of gratitude.

The topic of envy reminded me how we writers can be afflicted by the Green Eyed Monster just as much as, or maybe more than, the next guy. Book deals, large advances, bestseller status, signing with a top agency--these highlights sometimes seem to only happen to other writers.

Today I encourage all of us to practice the opposite of envy. Let's express gratitude for what we currently have in our writing lives:

The ability to read

The ability to spell

The ability to write

The ability to tell stories

The ability to write on a computer

The ability to cut and paste

The ability to send queries via email

The ability to download ebooks instantly

The ability to publish instantly

As my son closes the chapter on high school and begins the next chapter at a university, I'm thankful for his heart of gratitude. And when the Green Eyed Monster sneaks up on us, we can list the good things in our writing lives. The cure for envy is gratitude.

Anything else you'd like to add to the above list? Do you ever get bitten by the Green Eyed Monster? How do you handle it? And if you haven't yet seen it, check out my IWSG post about our Wall of Gratitude.

Do you ever wish for greener grass?

This older post held special meaning for me, and I hope it helps you too!

The grass is always greener on the other side, even in the writing world. We look at other writers and think, I wish I was there already.

Those working on their first drafts wish their wips were polished

Those with polished manuscripts wish their queries were perfect

The unagented wish they had agents

The agented wish they had a book deal

The published wish they had higher sales

Best-selling authors wish they had a movie deal

Round and round it goes

With the right attitude, this can work in our favor. It gives us something to strive for while we're pecking away on the keyboard. Without the proper perspective, this could bring us down, making us feel as if we don't measure up.

I read somewhere that goals are dreams with deadlines. I think it's okay to look past where we are and work our tails off to get to the other side. As long as we understand there are weeds in that greener grass, because there are. In case you missed it, Nathan Bransford wrote an interesting post about When Dreams Become Expectations.

Am I where I want to be with my writing career? I'm getting there. And even though the grass I'm standing on has a few weeds here and there, it feels pretty good under my feet. How about you?

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