The Opposite of Envy

I was listening to a podcast interview with Dr. Henry Cloud, author of The Law of Happiness. I'm reading this book now. I'll report back later.

Anyway, in the interview Dr. Cloud spoke about how gratitude is the opposite of envy. Sounds weird, but I've never thought of it that way. But it makes sense. With envy, we're upset about what we don't have. With gratitude, we're thankful for what we do have.

A fun illustration of this is a tweet that was sent out by my son, who graduated from high school last night. He was bidding a fond farewell to his school. "No more FIFA tournaments, no more cafeteria food, no more expired ASB snacks, no more dirt-covered trailers. I'm going to miss everything."

You see, his high school is a small cluster of trailers surrounded by dirt countryside. A new high school is under construction, but that didn't matter to my son. In a quote he gave at a scholarship luncheon, "The guts are good, even if it isn't pretty on the outside." He isn't envious of kids who go to fancy schools. He excelled and had a blast in dusty trailers, knowing he was blessed with education and a small town atmosphere. In my opinion, that's a heart of gratitude.

The topic of envy reminded me how we writers can be afflicted by the Green Eyed Monster just as much as, or maybe more than, the next guy. Book deals, large advances, bestseller status, signing with a top agency--these highlights sometimes seem to only happen to other writers.

Today I encourage all of us to practice the opposite of envy. Let's express gratitude for what we currently have in our writing lives:

The ability to read

The ability to spell

The ability to write

The ability to tell stories

The ability to write on a computer

The ability to cut and paste

The ability to send queries via email

The ability to download ebooks instantly

The ability to publish instantly

As my son closes the chapter on high school and begins the next chapter at a university, I'm thankful for his heart of gratitude. And when the Green Eyed Monster sneaks up on us, we can list the good things in our writing lives. The cure for envy is gratitude.

Anything else you'd like to add to the above list? Do you ever get bitten by the Green Eyed Monster? How do you handle it? And if you haven't yet seen it, check out my IWSG post about our Wall of Gratitude.

Wall of Gratitude #IWSG

Welcome, Insecure Writers! If you haven't yet joined this amazing group, head on over to the site and sign up. You'll be thankful you did.

On the subject of being thankful, we have a new addition in our home. No, it's not a new baby, or another rescued pet. We have a wall of gratitude.

I can't take credit for the idea, though. Our pastor spoke about how gratitude is on the path to joy, and if we put up visual reminders of what we're thankful for, it'll remind us of the blessings in our lives. So we created a wall of gratitude on our fridge.

(cute, yes?)

Our boys have the freedom to write whatever it is they're thankful for. They're teens, so of course they've written things like steak, vanilla shakes, and pizza. But they've also written family, our military, and an education. I've written God, good health, and love.

But of course the writer in me is evident on that wall. I've added books, words, the skills and desire to write, perseverance, and positive attitude.

Whenever I'm feeling low, I stroll over to that wall and read all that we're thankful for. And I won't leave without adding something new. That simple task makes me feel lighter. Our pastor is right...gratitude is definitely a big part of the path to joy.

Do you have a wall of gratitude? Or a gratitude journal? If you're ever feeling low, do you focus on what's wrong, or do you focus on what's right? What are you thankful for today?

Grateful for Gratitude #IWSG

Welcome Insecure Writers! Big thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh and his crew for giving us this awesome group hug called Insecure Writers Support Group. Click here to sign up.

Keeping it short this month. When things get crazy, I like to take a moment and focus on what I'm grateful for.

Besides family and good health, which I'm thankful for every day, I'm grateful for:

1. Opportunities. I love that we're writers in this day and age. Opportunities and choices abound.
2. Skill. My writing abilities have come a loooong way, and they still have a looooong way to go. But I'm so thankful for writing skills.
3. Sales. When even one person buys one of my books, I'm so thankful. I'd write them for free, without ever receiving payment, so I'm extra grateful when someone puts faith in me.
4. Mentors. I'm thankful for brave writers who try new things and tell others about it. 
5. Gratitude. Sounds weird to be grateful for gratitude, but I am. It's easy to dwell on all you don't have, but I like to dwell on what I do.

How about you, fellow writers? What are you grateful for today? Please share!

Grateful for the Long Road #IWSG

Hello, friends! Today I'm participating in Alex J. Cavanaugh's brilliant brainchild, Insecure Writer's Support Group, and Sheri Larsen's It's All About Gratitude blog hop.

I'm also featured at The Artist Unleashed on Jessica Bell's blog. Stop by and chat about how we mature as writers. Cuz I'm mature :)

Is it possible to be insecure and grateful? Sure! Let me explain.

On Valentine's Day, Super Supportive Hubby and I took a romantic ride in a horse-drawn carriage on a moonlit night. He gazed lovingly at me as I cradled long-stemmed roses in my arms.

Just kidding. That is soooo not us!

Instead, we spent the day hiking the jagged peaks of Vasquez Rocks--cool rock formations near our home (seen in Roswell, The Flinstones, and Star Trek: The Next Generation). We've hiked there several times before. Hubby wanted to branch out on a new trail. I was game.

We took a long, meandering trail shaded by overhanging trees. We were like the So Cal Lewis and Clark, exploring new surroundings. I loved it. By the time we reached our destination, we were hungry, hot, and tired. We'd planned lunch at the local Mexican restaurant. I was having visions of mango margaritas. Forget Lewis and Clark. We needed to get back to our car, stat.

Hubby's solution? A shortcut! Less distance, less time. Brilliant. True, the distance was shorter, but the climb was straight up. Hard work when you're seeing mirages of mango margaritas. Hubby had to push and pull me in certain places. I didn't care about the beautiful surroundings. I just wanted to get to the end.

What did I learn? I like long, meandering roads much better, where I'm focused on the view and not the destination.

Same with my writing road. I'm grateful my journey has not been rushed. I'm grateful I didn't get what I wanted when I wanted it. I'm grateful I've had time to learn and grow along the way. I'm still insecure about each fork on the trail, but I'm grateful for the long road. I can walk, run, take detours, stumble, and fall. Things have a way of working out the way they should.

What else did I learn?

1. Mango margaritas are worth the wait.
2. We must choose the right paths for ourselves.
3. Beware the man who says, "Let's take a shortcut."

If you're a hiker, do you like long roads or shortcuts? How about with your writing life? Please share!

The Benefits of Clunkers

My hubby and I both come from large families, five kids each, and when it was our turn to drive, we drove the cars that had been handed down from older brothers and sisters. I was grateful for the car because it allowed me to putt around town on my own, and gave me some independence at 16.

My car wasn't bad at all. It was a cute little VW Bug my older sister had bought and my parents then bought from her. But it wasn't my dream car, and it wasn't mine.

My now hubby, but boyfriend at the time? His cars deserved their own special names. An old Cougar was called the "Bondo Mobile," because there were bondo patches all over the body. We named an old El Camino the "Leak Mobile," because water dripped through when it rained. And another car of undetermined make was affectionately named the "Kitty Litter Mobile" because it smelled like kitty litter. Let's just say I didn't fall in love with my hubby because of his slick cars. 

At the time I would've loved a brand new fancy car. What teen wouldn't? But I'm so glad my parents weren't in a position to give that to me. If we're given something without working hard for it, or given something brand new without realizing how lucky we are, then we miss an opportunity for ambition and gratitude.

Buying my own car was the very first thing I worked toward once I had a job. I scrimped and saved, and felt such pride when I plunked down my own hard-earned money and drove that new car off the lot. Nothing like it. And I babied that car, washing it once a week and putting the car cover on it each night. 

I compare clunker cars to the early stages of our writing journeys. Our firsts attempts at writing may deserve their own quirky names, and probably didn't garner much success. In my opinion, that's a good thing. Those clunkers made us ambitious, and hungry to learn more and become better at our craft. And with each new manuscript we write, we're better than before. And for that we can be grateful.

If awesome writers were awesome from the start, then what would they learn? When they reached success, would they value it as much? Would they be as thankful? Probably not. From what I've seen, awesome writers are so grateful they've reached their goals, knowing it took a lot of hard work to get there. 

When I look back on my early work, I cringe. Oh, the things I didn't know. And then I think about what I still don't know, and how I'm going to move to the next step. But instead of being frustrated by those early attempts, we can be thankful our successes are built on a mound of clunkers. Those clunkers can give us an attitude of gratitude as we move from one achievement to the next.

Do you cringe when you look back on your early work? Are you thankful for those clunkers, knowing they brought you to where you are today? And what was the first car you drove? Any funny breakdown stories you'd like to share?

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