How to Handle Close Calls #IWSG

Welcome, Insecure Writer's Support Group friends!

Tell me if this sounds familiar:

An agent or editor replies to your submission, saying, "We love the story, but..." or "We love your characters, but..." or "We love your writing, but..." or "We came close to saying yes, but..."

You hyperventilate and want to shout, "If you like this, this and this, WHY ARE YOU SAYING NO?"

*bang head on wall*

*take a deep breath*

*pick drywall chunks and paint chips off forehead*

If you've been at this writing thing for a while, you've probably had some close calls. And if you haven't had any yet, you will.

I've had close calls. At first I was frustrated, thinking OMG, I can't believe how close I was. I sulked because my "almost" became a "no, thanks." But then a lightbulb snapped on over my head and I realized, OMG, I just had a close call!

It's all about attitude. How can close calls work in our favor? How can we handle them without frustration? Here are my thoughts:

• Recognize close calls as signs you're on the right path. Your work is getting read. It's been noticed. Something about it sparked interest. No, it wasn't right for a particular agent or editor, but that doesn't mean it's not good. A close call reminds you that your manuscript has merit. You just haven't found the right love match yet.
• Use close calls to fuel your dedication. Were you feeling defeated before your close call? Did the close call make you feel worse? Please, please turn that around. Use the close call as motivation to dig back in and keep sending out your work. Repeat after me: it came close, it came close, it came close. You have no idea how close you really are. Seriously. Need more rah rah? Check out my post, Don't Quit at the One Yard Line.
• Use close calls as opportunities to sharpen your submission. If the agent or editor gave you specific reasons why they said no, hooray! Consider using those notes to beef up your query, pitch, or manuscript. Tired of reading your own story? Set it aside, read a great book, then come back to your manuscript with fresh eyes and perspective. You'll fall in love with it all over again. 

One agent, editor, or contest will not break your book. However, one agent, editor or contest can make your book. If we let close calls get us down, and stop sending out the work, how will we ever know what could've been?

Remember: it came close, it came close, it came close.

Have you had close calls yet? Did they frustrate you or inspire you? If you're published, how many close calls did you have before you got the call?

What writers can learn from The Bachelor

I'm a romantic, or sucker, who watches The Bachelor each season. With great hope I view hot tub scenes, dream getaways, and tearful breakups.

My time with The Bachelor is not a complete waste. There's *ahem* valuable lessons to be learned from this guilty pleasure:

• Rejection stings--in both the dating and publishing worlds. As writers, if the editor or agent we're pursuing doesn't love us back, we need to move on (or try again later with stronger material).
• Image matters--when the women first step out of the limo and are introduced to The Bachelor, they're creating an impression. As writers, our image matters. Online, or in person at a conference, we should be aware of what we're projecting.
• We will make mistakes--Jake and Vienna anyone? Gaffes are embarrassing, but writers improve by building upon lessons learned.
• Some people hit the jackpot--Allie and Roberto. *sigh* Their battle to find each other was tough, but their romantic dreams came true. Writer bonanzas happen all around us with blogger buddies securing agents and publishing contracts.
• We should aim high--not all 30 women will win The Bachelor's heart, but that doesn't prevent them from trying. Not all writers will achieve the same level of success, but that won't keep us from pursuing a perfect love match with readers.

Fess up...do you watch The Bachelor? If not, what's your guilty pleasure?

On a similar topic, check out this post on How Querying Agents Is Like the American Idol Auditions.

photo credit

The Secret to Having it All is...

...believing that you do.

This statement hangs on a wall in my home, and I love it.

To me, it's all about perspective. Some rich people are miserable. Some poor people are happy and content. The difference lies in their viewpoint.

Do we appreciate material things and successes more if they've been a long time coming? In my opinion, not that anyone's asking, is that yes, we appreciate hard-won successes more. Kind of like driving clunkers for many years, then affording a Mercedes. If a 16-year-0ld receives a Mercedes on the day their new license is printed, do they appreciate it as much?

As a writer, I'd love to have a book published NOW. If it doesn't happen right away, I'm cool with that. I'm just happy I have the skills, the desire, and the determination to write.

Rejection after rejection is a bummer. But dear author friends, we are in good company. Anita Nolan blogged about famous author rejections. Gone with the Wind rejected 38 times? Margaret Mitchell would have loved acceptance right away, to be sure. But imagine her excitement after 38 rejections. If she had given up...I shudder at the thought.

Those of you with published books, did it happen right away? Or did it take years, and you savored the victory even more? I'd love to hear your stories!

Glitter, Butts, and Rejection

I wish I could remember which author said it, but I once read, “nobody farts glitter.” I love that! Did you get a visual? Me too. The glitter is blue.

I’m devouring information about the craft of writing, and my simple brain has divided the process into four steps:

1. Write the manuscript
2. Make the manuscript great
3. Send the manuscript out
4. Begin a new manuscript

Or, as Nathan Bransford reminded us in last week’s post, Jane Yolen so eloquently calls it BIC (butt in chair).

One way to guarantee I’ll never get published? Not sending out my work. So, I’m sending out my best stuff. What’s the worst that will happen? Rejection? In the grand scheme of things, I think that’s a pretty small consequence. Does it feel good? Heck no. Rejections sting.

It’s been a looooooong time since I’ve dated, thank goodness. But I loved this hilarious “just not that into you” post by Shelli. She compares rejection letters to dating. How clever is that?